Devaluation

I recently ran across an article that discussed devaluation in relationships. The author explained that oftentimes if something hasn't worked for us, i.e., love, then we no longer value it and thus try to minimize the need for it. He further explained that it is a coping mechanism we use to deal with the harsh reality of failing or lacking in a particular area of our lives.

I believe that devaluation applies to all walks of life. How often have you heard a person say, "I don't need xyz"? Or have you heard someone say, "Life is not about xyz"? Usually, comments like this are indicative of an area where the person has failed or is lacking.

Rather than cope, how about we embrace our needs? Needing or desiring something is not a bad thing. We should simply manage our thoughts, emotions, and behavior while we wait for the need to be filed. Being able to acknowledge your desires makes room for them to become a reality because you are open and available to receive them.

How to recognize and address devaluation:

1) Be honest with yourself first.

2) When you make "blank statements" or bold proclamations, write them down and revisit them later.

3) Be honest with others about what you really need, desire, or want.

4) Look for triggers, patterns, or clues when you become emotional or hyped about a particular subject.